Ask Shan With Shannon Daniels

Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and she wants a key to my apartment. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that type of commitment yet. How can I say no without getting her upset?
A: When a relationship is in a good place, some people think it’s the right time to make major changes that are not necessary. Making changes that both parties aren’t ready for can ruin the relationship you have thus far. Try to explain that you are not ready for that obligation at this moment, but that the time will come soon enough. Tell her that she is always welcome in your home, but right now there is no need for her to have a key. Having a key doesn’t make the relationship; it is how you both connect with each other.
Q: I have recently become single and my friends insist on me finding someone new. I like being single, how can I get them to stop and let me enjoy my new freedom?
A: If your friends are in a relationship or dating someone, they like “their” friends to be in the same status as they are for things such as double dates. Being single, especially after a relationship you weren’t happy in, can be very exciting and you want to be able to enjoy it. Tell your friends exactly how you feel. If you don’t want to be in a relationship they should respect that decision and not try to hook you up with anyone, especially if you don’t want to be. They need to know they can’t force you into something you don’t like.
Q: My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago and he still calls and texts me. How can I get him to leave me alone?
A: Many people don’t know how to let go of a person after a break up. It’s very important that you explain to him that you do not want to be with him. Talking to or seeing each other will only make it harder to let go. Start off by ignoring and blocking him. If you still answer his calls or see him, he may think that he still has a chance. Ignore all phone calls as well as text messages. Block him from all social media as well. This is the time when you need to be selfish and think of yourself. It’s a reason why you aren’t with him at this time.

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