Ask Shan

How long should I be in a relationship before I can say, “I love you?”

Those three special words, “I love you” can be great, but not if it’s too early in the relationship. Don’t be that clingy boyfriend or girlfriend who says “I love you” just after a week of being together. Although there clearly isn’t a time limit on love, it shouldn’t be rushed. Also, actions speak louder than words, and any abusive behavior is not love. Be patient and let the love you two share for each other come naturally. It is important to let them know when you do have the feelings, because they more than likely will feel the same way. You will know when the time is right.

What’s a good way to adjust to the new city I moved to?

Find something you like about the city. Make it your own and make it comfortable for yourself. Focus on the reason why you moved there and put your effort into it. Make new friends and learn your new city. Join an organization or cause you’re interested in. There’s probably a lot to offer that you don’t know about yet.

Why do people want what they can’t have?

When someone tells you, “No, you can’t have that,” it makes people want it even more. The grass is not greener in the neighbor’s yard, but it looks that way to us. Sometimes people are in love with being in love, with the fantasy better than the real deal.  People need to realize if they cannot have something, it is not meant to be.

How do I end a relationship with a significant other because I’m ready to see other people?

The old saying, “It’s not you, it’s me,” may be your solution for this problem. You have to be honest with your partner to try not to hurt his or her feelings. Being in a relationship for a long period of time certainly can show you if the person you’re with is the right one. If you know for a fact that your significant other is not the person for you, don’t waste time. Tell them they are not for you and hopefully you both can find what you are looking for. Do not cheat as a way to end things- keep it clean and honest.

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